Help Wanted

Monday, March 26, 2007

Written by Samartha Gamble

Dear Sammy,

I am a 25-year-old newly-wed whose husband was recently fired from his job. He has completely shut down and till this day, he’s still not told me why he has lost his job and that really bothers me. Now that he’s unemployed, he spends his time at home sitting on the computer and watching T.V, instead of looking for a new job. We have many bills to pay and it’s becoming increasingly stressful for me to handle all of this. How can I encourage him to become motivated to work again?

  • Extremely discouraged newly-wed

Dear discouraged Newly-Wed:
This situation has gone on for far too long, and now you must find the courage to have a serious talk therapy session with your husband. Losing a job is hard on anybody! And I think that for men it is especially difficult as they often react to it as though they are grieving... because in a way, they are. First off, tell your husband how this whole situation has affected you. Encourage him to open up and talk openly about the reason why he was fired. If his firing resulted from circumstances beyond his control, then you must help him accept that it had nothing to do with his work ethic and that this incident should motivate him to move on. That being said, if he was fired because he made a mistake or was careless, then you may want to inspire him to work on those qualities that got him fired. As his wife, you can help him get back on his feet and off the computer. For starters, you can help him with his resume and bring home the classifieds ads for him to look at. I’m not asking you to do everything for him, but show him that you care and want to see him back in the workforce. When he sees that you are pushing him, he’ll feel empowered to start helping himself. He’s fortunate to have such a supportive wife.

Best of luck to the both of you,

  • Sammy
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